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Poem amd writing ctr... by renatoart

Devious Collection by KiichigoKitsune

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Submitted on
October 4, 2009
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868 bytes
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781
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I hope it burns.

I want it to consume you
Wrap, its warmth around you, choking,
Until you scream my name.
I want you to hate it
Yet, love it, your so addicted.
Your so addictive.

I hope its painful.

I want my name on your lips.
When your hot under the collar,
On the edge,
Writhing.
I want you to remember.
unforgetting, my hands on your body.
Your hands on mine.

I hope it pleases.
I want you to want to hear my voice
Be comforted, by words,
Only said by me.
I want the missing to bury itself
Deep, I want it to burn you.




                                        As it burns me
heh.

Dont you hate it when you miss someone so much it hurts?
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:iconxstargazerx:
xStarGazerx Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2010   Photographer
I feel this now :L ... Beautifully written :aww:
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:iconpyros-dream:
pyros-dream Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2010  Student General Artist
thankyou so much, its great to hear that you can relate to it too!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconmewtootim:
mewtootim Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
O M G
IT'S SO GREAT!
I love this, like, you have no idea.
It's so like, emotional, but not like sad-n-sappy, but so powerful and full and kinda sexy in it's own way.
You can really feel the emotion and everything behind it. And the last line does tie it off very nicely.
And I love the bolded words, very nicely done.

BUT!
I think there should be a blank line between the 16th and 17th, the last "I hope..." simply because the other two were separated...so...ya know...
butyea
VERY SUPER AWESOMELY WRITTEN!!!

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Reply
:iconpyros-dream:
pyros-dream Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2009  Student General Artist
whoa! thankyou for the very awsome comment^^ :glomp:
im so glad you love it!!!

yeah thats what i was hoping to get through, the more kinda raw nd sexy (?) side.

and the bolded words, i love doing that^^ makes it more fun to write^^


your the only one to notice! *or to say*
I realised the mistake with the spacing after I published, and was too much in a hurry to go change^^;



THANKYOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:love:
Reply
:iconmewtootim:
mewtootim Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Your very welcome!
You got that across very nicely. And it's really refreshing because usually you'll see something all sad-n-sappy or something similar and it's just nice to see another side.

I read though the poem and then started to comment and I was like WAIT A MOMENT HERE!!! And went and reread it and was like I should say something because I'm like that!
But yea
<3
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:iconpyros-dream:
pyros-dream Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2009  Student General Artist
i hate that...the fact that it doesnt show you all the message...anyway!
:love:
Well, after reading how everyone expresses the sadder missing side of missing people I thought i more violent(/) approach would be different^^;


But thanks alot! I'll go change that soon,...And im glad your like that^^!!!

:glomp:
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:iconxrockerxpoetx:
xRockerxPoetx Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
Great poem ^^ Really emotional
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:iconpyros-dream:
pyros-dream Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2009  Student General Artist
thanktyou so much honey^^
Reply
:iconxrockerxpoetx:
xRockerxPoetx Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2009
Lol no prob buddy!
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